The ABC of the RFP

It fell on Sir Rodney first.

The coveted yet dreaded RFP a.k.a. Request for Proposal – a bunch of forms from a client with blanks to be filled in, questions to be answered and submitted within a deadline to qualify for a meeting in a series of meetings to bag a likely assignment. Whew!

A project that we had smugly thought was in our pocket, had sneaked out in the open for all and sundry to quote. Not a first time for us, but generally we haven’t had much success, alright any success, with Ms. RFP.

Sir Rodney worked on it for 3 days before deciding that it hadn’t suitably budged towards completion. With 2 days to go, panic set in on dot, as forewarned on page 46 in the blockbuster, “RFP for Dummies”.

It eventually landed in my mailbox. I gathered myself and sifted through the formats. Apparently, all were filled properly. Yet there was an air of impending doom.

An innocuous looking Excel file appeared somewhat disturbing. With clammy hands, I clicked it open. In it was a table of questions that scrolled and scrolled and scrolled – till row 538. The response column was completely blank.

I let out a short scream, stood up, hopped around, sat down, rubbed my eyes, looked again, stood up, hopped around again and sat down. That changed nothing in the sheet.

It took me 15 full minutes to gather my wits and control my gurgling stomach. I wished it would go away, but it kept on staring at me, defiantly. So, I scrolled up, up and up to the first row.

In a few minutes, I knew that I needed divine help. This was a minefield of abbreviations: AD, DC, LDAP, SAS, SAAS, IAAS, PAAS, RD, DMZ,IP,T1, VPN, IPSec, B2B,JVM,BES,TLS,SASE, ISO, SSO, OS, PDA, OLA,SLA,VCS, SDLC, RMP, AV, PCI, P2P, B2C, SAML, WS, SSL, BCP, DCP, RTO, DR,UPS, HVAC … GO for Game Over?.

I needed to lie down, but instead called Sir Rodney. I squeaked that we may not be able to answer all the questions. Or rather any of them. Hence, we may use the one abbreviation that we relate to whole heartedly – “NA” for Not Applicable. I thought I heard him break down at the other end, sobbing in relief or grief or both?

So, I generously used the only weapon in our arsenal and was done with. In 5 minutes flat.

The results aren’t in yet. But, I think our record w.r.t. RFPs will stand unblemished and proud. For an “NA” in client speak may well mean Not Acceptable, garnished with pearls that may be a bit difficult to abbreviate!